Values of the Heart

What legacy do you want to leave? Are you currently focused on leaving that legacy? You may want to have a family and stay home to raise your children. You may want to leave a legacy in your career. Or you may have aspirations to leave a legacy in volunteering for community services or charities.

When I was growing up, my number one priority was to have a family. I planned to be a teacher so I could be with my family as much as possible. That’s not exactly how things turned out. But I was more than happy to raise my son as a single mom. He was my first priority. Every decision I made, I had him in mind. It was a joy and a struggle to keep everything balanced.

Recently, I read an article by Suzy Welch, author and wife of Jack Welch. She had a decision to make about leaving work on time to spend time with her children or to stay at work to meet a deadline. As I read the article, I realized I would have made a different decision than she did. However, that doesn’t make her decision wrong. It means her values are different than mine, not wrong.

Most of us just want to make a difference in life. How can we do that? By following our hearts and sharing our unique gifts with others. The thing about a legacy is that it takes time and consistency to create. It’s important not to lose heart in the journey.

When you are feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated, reach out to your support system. If you don’t have one, yet, go to a trusted pastor or lay counselor. Once you feel restored, put together a support system of trusted friends and family.

It’s important for you to know that your decisions will all add up to the legacy you leave. Please don’t think you can have everything at once. That kind of thinking brings about stress and anxiety. There will be times you will focus on your job. Other times you will focus on your family. But it will all come together in the end to leave a legacy you can be proud of.

Attitude is everything. When you have a great attitude, it is easier to face life. But what if you are going through a trial? And you may be thinking, “Oh sure, Katrina, life is hard. What then?” Well I know there are always trials and that life isn’t easy. But here are some thoughts about adjusting your attitude.

One of my favorite quotes is “Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect. It means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.” I love that we get to decide. We don’t decide what happens, but we decide how we view what happens. Decide each day what your attitude will be.

Why? Why change your attitude? In Proverbs 23:7, we learn “As a man thinketh, so is he.” The thoughts or feelings you dwell on shape your actions. Actions repeated become character. I don’t think anyone consciously makes it a goal to have a bad attitude or poor character. But by not keeping our thoughts captive, we sometimes allow ourselves to sink deeper into self-pity or worse self-loathing.

I’m not asking you to have a Polly Anna mentality. Don’t think positively for the sake of thinking positively. Nor do I want you to fake it until you make it. Determine what you can do – not what you can’t. We are not in total control of the circumstances. But we are responsible for our actions and our attitudes.

I don’t have all of the answers as to why certain things happen. I’ve been through my own set of trials. But I found that it’s much easier to look for the silver lining than it is to dwell on the negative. Negativity zaps your energy. It can also rob you of the legacy you want to leave. Our attitude is a powerful tool. Are you using it to your advantage?

Tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I’ll do anything to _____ (fill in the blank). Do these sentences sound familiar? How often have you said these words? Maybe you thought about getting fit or managing your time better. And you just wanted to know the best route to take. Sometimes the best route to take is to be, not do, not at first anyway.

When I first started thinking about this blog post, I thought it would be easy. Tell you to be more, not do more. But then I thought of defining being and I complicated things in my own mind. I think all too often we get caught up in doing and have our checklists for the day. How on earth can we change that mentality?

I truly believe in the scripture verse Matt 6:33, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Sure, seek is a verb. But it is not doing for the sake of doing. It is to go in search of something or to try to discover. How do you discover? Ask questions, explore.

Some of the ways we can discover: a daily quiet time, prayer, worship. These are not the only ways to discover, but they are the ones I would like to address. When we set aside a time to be quiet and listen, it can bring us clarity to a situation or to who God is. It was so important to me, growing up to have time when I was quiet and listened. I could get to the roof of our house by crawling up into the attic and climbing out the window. This was a great place to get away and be quiet. I realize that some may think the best time to have a quiet time is in the morning. Not everyone is a morning person. So, I say, set the appointment and keep it and be consistent, whatever time of day. I suggest this because making an appointment helps you to be purposeful and carve out time. Otherwise, the day may get away from you before you know it.

I would like to be clear; I really prefer that you seek God more than once a day. Quiet time, for me, personally, is about greeting God through prayer and worship, reading scripture, and listening. I come with a note pad and pen in hand to take notes. The rest of the day, I pray periodically to ask for direction or give thanks when I see His work in my life. After all, this is a relationship, not a list of things to get done.

To me, this is being. Your spiritual side needs fulfillment. I call this feeding my soul. We wouldn’t go a day without a meal. I try not to go a day without seeking. This is not about perfection. This is about a relationship. I am writing this not to make you feel guilty, but to inspire you to get to know God and His grace and love for you. Please don’t read this blog as another to do list to check off.