Values of the Heart

When I mention B.A.L.A.N.C.E. to some women, they crinkle their noses and mention that they would never have the time to achieve B.A.L.A.N.C.E. in their lives. Well what if you and these women I talk to could simplify your lives and find the joy you are looking for?

I hesitate to mention how. It’s so simple. And you already know the answer. Don’t complicate things. Be yourself in all areas. That’s it! By being yourself in all areas, you will have B.A.L.A.N.C.E. and find the joy that has been so elusive, until now.

Make note of your top 4 or 5 values. Write them down if you have to. Keep the list in an area that you can reference often, until the list becomes part of your daily thinking process. When you make a decision, pull out the list and see if what you want to do is in line with your values. If not, don’t do it. By continually making your decisions based on your values, you will systematically be simplifying your life.

Before you know it, you will have achieved B.A.L.A.N.C.E. with no real extra time required out of your day. Let’s look at an example. When I was a single mom, raising my son, I had the opportunity for a job that I thought was very creative. At the time I was working as an accounting manager, not the most creative job. But the accounting job was a gift, I thought. It was exactly what I needed to make ends meet and to spend time with my son. When the other job came up, I considered my values. The new job was a little tempting, but I really valued my time with my son. I wasn’t willing to give up that value. So, it became easy to say no to the opportunity. I knew there would be other opportunities when he was older and more independent. So without regret or angst, I declined the position.

I think a lot of us get out of B.A.L.A.N.C.E. when we go against our value system and then we try so hard to “make it work.” Really be honest with yourself about your values. Then be completely honest when it’s time to make that next decision. What do you value? What do you really want out of life?

In my last post, I mentioned that your values could be evident in every area of your life. How many areas do we, as women, normally focus on? Well, we are really good at taking care of our families and friends. We are also good at keeping our jobs whether it’s being a stay-at-home mom or working outside the home. What other areas do we focus on or neglect? As women, we all strive for B.A.L.A.N.C.E. Let’s look at what gives us B.A.L.A.N.C.E.

Being – this is our soul or our spiritual walk. Whether you are Christian or another faith, we all have a spiritual side of us that cannot be ignored.

Attitude – this is our mental side. We need to feed our minds just as much as we need to feed our spirits. We can read; spend time with positive influences; decide on a regular basis to look at things in a positive light.

Legacy- no matter who I talk to, we all want to make a difference. We, as women, want to know that we raised our children to be the best they can be. We also want to know we helped a friend in need. If we choose a career, we want our being there to mean something. This is our legacy.

All about you; yes, you need to take care of yourself, too. We get so focused on others, we sometimes forget our interests. What hobbies do you have? When is the last time you allowed yourself time to enjoy that hobby. In what areas do you want to grow? Do you have a plan for that growth?

Nest egg; this is the financial side of life. Don’t tell me that your husband or significant other handles all of that. It’s fine that one person may handle the bills. But we also need to know what is going on with the finances. We need to be a part of the planning and implementing of our financial goals.

Connection; typically we are really strong in this part of our lives. It includes our friends, family and even acquaintances we have. We know how to connect with others.

Energy; this is our physical health. What are you doing that contributes to your energy? What are you doing that is depleting your energy? Are you getting regular checkups with a health practitioner? Are you active each day? Are you eating right?

These are the areas in our lives that give us B.A.L.A.N.C.E. If we are neglecting any of these areas, our lives could be out of balance. However, we do not always give the same amount of time to each area. It’s not about time each day. I’ll explain in a later post.

The holidays have come and gone and we are all back into the swing of everyday life. All the parties with family and friends over the holidays reminded me of one principle I think most people live by. When we catch up with family and friends, we often ask, “What have you been up to?” The family member or friend usually updates us on the status of their job and family. We focus so much on our roles in life. We see the here and now.

I always want to dig deeper. I want to say, “How are you, really?” Oh, how I would love to get a true gage of how my family is feeling. That’s what really matters, right? How can we become more connected? Sure, I could keep in touch more often. That would help a lot. But I think most of us are so used to saying that we are fine that we don’t ever really say how things are in our lives. Do we really know the answer ourselves?

I don’t expect people to walk up in a party and say, “I value generosity, spirituality and connection the most in life. And the way I have implemented those values in my life are x, y, z.” But can’t we get a little deeper in our conversations?

I challenge you to look at what you value most in life. How are those values being manifested in the different areas of your life?